Abundance Mindset in the Autism World with Julie Cairns

Transcript for Podcast Episode: 105
Having an Abundance Mindset in the Autism World with Julie Cairns
Hosted by: Dr. Mary Barbera

Mary: You're listening to the Turn Autism Around podcast episode number one hundred and five, I want to wish you a happy New Year. I am so looking forward to 2021 and hopefully it will be a great year for all of us. Today I have a special guest saying a different topic. It's a friend of mine, Julie Ann Cairn's, and she's coming to us from New Zealand. And she is an expert in having an abundance mindset. So she is the bestselling author of the Abundance Code Book, and she has a master's degree in business administration and international finance. And she is a money expert. But she's going to talk all about not just for money, but having an abundance mindset overall, especially in the autism world. So let's get to this great interview with Julie Ann Cairns.

Mary: So thanks so much for joining us today. Actually, it's our evening and your what time of the day are you in New Zealand?

Julie Ann: Midday.

Mary: Awesome. So ever since I saw you, Julie, present a few years ago on having an abundance mindset, I had thought about having you on the podcast. So I think this is a great way to start the year or start 2021 with a talk about an interview about abundance mindset. And I know that the professionals and especially the parents out there listening may feel like they have no time, no money, they have no normalcy in their life, especially since covid stressed out home schooling their kids. And just, you know, I think it's hard to have an abundance mindset. So we're going to really dive into that. But what really got me to contact you was you read it kindly out of just the goodness of your heart. You read my new book, Turn Autism Around and Action Guide for Parents of Young Children with Early Signs of Autism, which will be published by Hay House on March 30th, 2021. And you're also a Hay House author of the Abundance Code Book.

Mary: And so I asked you to read it and you in your really great blurb for the book, you talked about your personal connection to worrying about your daughter when she was young. So first, before we get into the whole abundance mindset and what that is, can you tell our listeners about your fall into the autism world or worrying about autism?

Julie Ann: Yeah, sure. So my daughter is 16 now, and when she was a toddler, she started having some developmental issues. She wasn't developing speech as quickly as we would expect. And then when she did develop speech, she had some speech impediments, certain sounds that she wasn't able to pronounce around that same time. She was also having incredible temper tantrums, showing like a lot of frustration. And around the communication, I felt that was my intuition. That she was unable to communicate properly. And she was starting to get really, really frustrated with it. Also around food, she's always been an incredibly finicky person when it comes to what she will eat and what she won't eat. And yet not being able to communicate properly what she wanted, what she I mean, she could communicate what she didn't want, but so there were issues like that happening.

Julie Ann: And at the time, my husband was traveling a lot. He traveled for work. And I remember talking to him on the phone saying, you know, she's having these tantrums that are just like insane. And he said, oh, you know, I'm sure all toddlers have tantrums. And he and I was like, no, these are different. This is not a normal tantrum. You know, I have to basically restrain her so she won't hurt herself, you know, just like get her in a hug so that she doesn't scratch and punch herself, you know, seriously, like she was writhing around. I was worried she's going to hit her head. It was like really, really intense. And then eventually he was home at one stage when one of these tantrums happened and he went, oh, right. I see what you mean. That's not normal. So I started to really get worried as to what was going on with her. And I could tell that she was kind of retreating, retreating into herself.

Julie Ann: Yeah. And I just didn't know what to do. I didn't really have any information. I don't think I even made the connection that this might be she might have been on the track to autism or some other. I just didn't know what was going on and I didn't know what to do about it. And I'm quite an intuitive person. So I. I just started tuning into my mother's intuition and asking for something, you know, something to show up that would that would help with this situation. I ended up stumbling across. Well, a few things. You know, we did get a speech therapist involved to help her with her speech, got her into a Montessori preschool, which was, you know, if you know anything about Montessori, is not based around pushing the child at all because she wasn't responding to pushing any pushing, she would completely, completely shut down. And also started a treatment called the Tomatoes Method, which is a auditory treatment, and all of those things combined seem to really start to have an effect. And when she was about three, three and a half, she really started to blossom and come back out of this shell that I had seen her start retreating into.

Mary: Yeah, it's confusing. You said in your blurb for my book that you say it was kind of luck that you stumbled upon these different treatments that seemed to work and you found your way, but that it shouldn't be about luck.

Julie Ann: And exactly. I would have loved a guide like your book at that time. Although it's sort of known to look for that. That's also interesting. Right. Is like when you have absolutely zero knowledge, you don't even know that what you might be dealing with is, is the early stages of something that might end up being on the autism spectrum, you know.

Mary: Yeah, well, and that's why I'm writing this. That's why I wrote the second book. Cause my first book was published in 2007. And it's called The Verbal Behavior Approach How to Teach Children with Autism and Related Disorders. But the thing is, is that you're really not going to look for that that kind of book if you just think it might be autism. So what happened in twenty seventeen? I created my third online course for parents of toddlers who were worried or with or without a diagnosis, because there's an incredible, as you read in the book, is a wait time from your first worry until an actual diagnosis. And Temple Grandin wrote the foreword and I've interviewed her since. And we're going to have some videos in our, for preorders of the book.

Mary: And she says in her forward as well as in these videos, it's as well as I know, it's really hard to tell whether a two-year-old has autism, has a sensory integration issues, has auditory processing issues. They're just a shy child? They're just highly sensitive. They're gifted, and they have social delays, whether this is early ADHD, whether this is a learning disability and all of those things, whether it's oppositional defiant disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder, it's really hard to tell with an 18-month-old or a one year old or two year old what you're looking at.

Mary: And so that's why I really wanted to create this book, but still has turned autism around in the title. So that's going to eliminate a lot of people from even looking. But I think there are a ton of people, actually millions of people who are waiting and worrying and waiting in line for an evaluation. And hopefully they'll be drawn to it. But your daughter is 16 now. She's not on the autism spectrum. But you were interested in the book and you do say that this was the guy that I should have had, you know, would have been helpful.

Julie Ann: Yeah, yeah. And I guess obviously it is a spectrum. And, you know, the treatments and the interventions that you talk about for people who are farther along the autism end of the spectrum are just as effective, I would imagine, for someone who's just got some developmental delays and speech problems. And as you said, sensory integration issues. Yeah, I definitely think, you know, I don't know whether Shantell would have ended up, you know, further down the spectrum if I hadn't gotten the treatments that I got for her. There's no way to know that. But luckily now she's turned out, you know, relatively normal. She still is a very sensitive, sensitive person. And, you know, she's very artistic. She has a particular type of brain, I can tell that is, you know, quite special, I think. And that's I imagine in your work, you know, a lot of a lot of it is about seeing what's there, too, that can be encouraged as opposed to labeling it as a disorder necessarily.

Mary: Right. Right. Well, we always look at the child's strengths and their needs and make a plan. And, you know, just because they're three, they may be functioning at a nine-month-old level or twelve month old level. So instead of getting into this deep state of depression over it, like, OK, let's meet the child where they're at and let's try to make rapid progress if we can. And the old adage is like you work it, work like it all depends on you and pray like it all depends on God, you know, is kind of, you know, I just wanted to write the guide for parents who were worried because by the time parents found my first book, it was it was it would be better to treat it early.

Mary: It's never too early or it's and it's never too late to start implementing these techniques. But everyone knows that the time to act is at the very first signs and that I just kind of wanted to go back down the mountain to gather up the people who are waiting and worrying and who have young kids that really can make rapid progress in some cases. OK, so let's talk about abundance mindset and you can talk about your book and your work and kind of how you came to be an abundance expert.

Julie Ann: Right? Well, my back story is, is that I grew up in Canada. So although I have lived most of my adult life in Australia and New Zealand, I was raised in Canada until I was 16. And I came from quite a prosperous family in my early life. So I had the experience of being in a wealthy family, very privileged. And then when I was 11 years old, my parents got divorced and a couple of years later, basically they had lost all the money. I was living with my mother, my dad, my sister had moved back to Australia and my mom declared bankruptcy and there was nothing and we were being assisted by welfare. So I kind of experience that.

Mary: How old were you when this happened?

Julie Ann: I was 11 when my parents broke up. I think I was 13 when my mom declared bankruptcy. Yeah. So at that time I spent a couple of years being depressed. It was like quite a shock to me, this whole change in circumstances. I didn't handle it very well and I was cutting school a lot and just basically not coping with the situation very well at all. And then when I was about 15, I kind of had an epiphany where I just went, OK, look, snapped out of it and went right. No one can sort this out for me now except me. I'm going to have to figure this out. I do want to be rich again because I. I like that compared to not having money. I think I liked having money a lot better. So now I have to figure it out for myself. And from that point on I became very focused on how I could make money.

Julie Ann: And I ended up moving to Australia when I was 16, mainly because university was free in Australia at that time. And living with my dad and I studied economics, I studied finance, I studied everything about money because that was my goal. I wanted to learn how to make money and I did achieve my goal. I did make great money. I worked in merchant banking funds management. And however, over the years I managed to sabotage myself a couple of times. So I had experiences where I made a lot of money and then I lost a lot of money, and then I made a lot of money again and I lost a lot of money.

Julie Ann: And when I say a lot, I'm talking about millions of dollars, so. The third time this happened was in 2008, and, you know, I know a lot of people hit financial dire straits in 2008 because of the global financial crisis. And for me, I was on the verge of bankruptcy. And I remember thinking I was completely terrified and I had this just feeling of absolute terror in the pit of my stomach. And when I tapped into that feeling, I realized that I had felt it before. And it was the feeling that I had had when I was a kid and my parents were breaking up and we were losing everything and. I kind of a light bulb went on in my mind and I went, wait a minute, is this how I think that life should go?

Julie Ann: Do I keep being on this roller coaster of gain and loss, gain and loss? Because that was my childhood experience. Am I just recreating that over and over and over again? Because I believe that that's how the world goes. And once I had that realization, then I kind of went on a whole journey of learning about the subconscious mind and that the incredible power that our subconscious has over the choices and decisions that we make, many of which are unconscious to us, but can be quite sabotaging to our success. And no matter whether we might have conscious goals to achieve something, sometimes we can sabotage ourselves because our subconscious beliefs are in contradiction to that conscious goal. And unfortunately, it seems that in that battle, when there's when there's a contradiction between the conscious desire and the subconscious belief, the subconscious belief wins every time.

Julie Ann: So it's really important for people to learn what are their subconscious limits. It's not just about money, but about any kind of measure of success in their lives and make sure that they examine their subconscious code or what I call their abundance code so that they can reprogram that code, make some very simple changes. It's actually not that difficult to reprogram your subconscious once you know how to do it, make some simple changes so that your conscious goals can come into alignment and be supported by your subconscious belief system. Once that happens, everything starts to fall into place in an incredible way.

Mary: So I know when I saw you speak, you talked about abundance versus scarcity. So if somebody say they have a child with delays or new diagnosis of autism, like what would be the like a scarcity mindset?

Julie Ann: Well, so one of the in my book, I talk about what I call the seven money myths, which are seven beliefs about money that are very limiting and potentially sabotaging for people. The very first belief in that set of seven is the belief in scarcity. So this is kind of the core belief. And this belief doesn't just show up when it comes to money. So a scarcity belief is basically the belief that there is not enough. You know, if you were going to just put it in four words, it is there is not enough. Now, what's interesting about that belief is that underneath that belief at an even deeper level is a belief. I am not enough.

Julie Ann: That belief shows up in every area of life if you haven't addressed it. So for a really stressed out parent who is dealing with incredible anxieties about the development of their child, one of the ways that that could be showing up is, is. Things like believing that you're not good enough, believing that you don't know what's right for your child, believing that you can't understand, not that you don't understand because you might not understand. Right. You might need to go and seek out information and gain a better understanding of the situation. That's not a limiting belief, but the belief that you will never understand it, that you can't understand it, that it's beyond your comprehension, that it's too hard. You know, it's overwhelming. You'll never you'll never find an answer to this. Those are limiting beliefs that can come from that core belief, I am not enough. Which is a scarcity mindset, belief. Another way it could show up is like around deserving this. I don't deserve to care for myself through this process.

Mary: I think that's a big one.

Julie Ann: Right. I have to care for everybody else before me. I don't get to fit my own oxygen mask first, you know, almost like there's no time for that. There's no right or there's no space or even for your other kids.

Mary: If you have multiple kids and you have a child with autism, it's like all hands-on deck. You know, we've got to address this. And, you know, siblings might feel like, you know, neglected in some for attention, for money, for, you know. And then what I see is and I do say in my new book, you know, the early signs of autism are an emergency. Like it's best to get on this as soon as possible. And, you know, like if parents are like, well, I took that your online course, but, you know, I don't really have the time right now. I don't have the money. It's like. It's an emergency, you know, as far as I'm concerned.

Julie Ann: It's only going to get worse, like, you know, if you don't address it.

Mary: Well and it's like the quicker you learn what you need to do, because, I mean, I had no idea when Lucas was showing signs of autism was diagnosed. I had no idea how to teach him to talk or how to teach him to keep his clothes on, because every time I turn my back, you take his clothes off and, you know, it can get very frustrating. And I think a lot of parents wait in line for professionals to. Yes. Kind of solve the problems and like relying on like I'm from I just I think I always had this kind of like I'm going to figure it out and especially I can figure this out.

Julie Ann: Yeah. You know, and that that's this belief system, right? This dichotomy between having a scarcity belief system when you're like, I'm not up to this, I'm not good enough. Right. I don't have the skills. I don't have the capability. I don't have the whatever to I do have this the capability. I am up to this. I don't know the answer right now, but I can figure out, you know, and I'm going to try and I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to give my power away to someone else and wait for someone else to tell me what to do. I'm going to educate myself. I'm going to take all the steps that I need to be taking, which doesn't mean that you're not going to listen to expert advice, just that you're not going to only listen to that. You're not going to wait only for that and totally give your power up to somebody else who doesn't necessarily know your child the way that you do, who doesn't have the intuition about your child that you do. So having that belief in yourself that, you know, this you have agency in this situation and a belief in yourself. Yeah. That's like really, really important. And that is a feature of having a more abundant mindset, having that belief in yourself.

Mary: So if somebody is listening and they're identifying with that, like, yeah, I think I do have an a scarcity mindset when it comes to money or my child with autism or what are there steps or processes to move to an abundance mindset?

Julie Ann: Yes, yes. There are steps, which is awesome. I love processes. So, OK, the first step, there are three steps. The first step is the step of recognition. So identification of you know, I think I have a limiting belief around this. What do I really believe? And one way to get it, what you believe is to actually just step into the witness position a little bit with yourself and listen to what comes out of your mouth. You know, and if you find yourself saying things like this is too much, I'm completely overwhelmed. I you know, I don't know what to do. I don't think I can find the answers myself. You know, just what is your commentary on your life, on your ability to handle this situation and just start writing it down without any judgment at first? Right. Like it's so easy to judge yourself in this in this kind of situation.

Julie Ann: And it's really important to not judge yourself, just listen and write down what is going through your mind and coming out of your mouth. And also what you find you nod your head along to when other people say it, you know. Oh, yeah, that's true. That stuff. Write it all down. And then this comes the second step, which is to. Once you've identified and you've identified, that might be a limiting belief I believe it's in that identification stage, it's also good to ask the question of yourself. Well, if I believe this, if this is true, what does that mean? You know, if I if it's true that I can't figure this out for myself, what does that mean? Well, it means I'm kind of I'm kind of screwed in this situation. Right. So identifying what's the limit that that's creating. And then the second step, once you've decided, well, I don't really want that limit that limits not helpful to me. It's not going to help me achieve my goal of helping my child to get better or improve or manage the situation.

Julie Ann: Then the second step comes in where you weaken that belief. So it's really important to weaken the belief before you try to replace it. So weakening the belief is quite a simple process. You start to argue the counter case. So you like when we have a belief, we discount all evidence to the contrary. Right. And we accept all evidence that matches the belief. Right. And so we're giving an unequal weighting. We're actually receiving all kinds of evidence. But we dismissed this lot that doesn't agree with our belief and we accept and pull in and validate all the things that do agree with our belief. So in order to weaken it, we have to kind of do the opposite. So we have to start actively looking for what's the evidence that I've dismissed that didn't agree with that belief. And I guess I'll just give you an example from abundance, for example, of the scarcity belief around money. You know, people go, well, there isn't enough to go around. You know, we live on this planet. That's like it's got scarce resources and there's a lot of people and there's not enough oil or there's not enough food or there's not enough whatever. Right. And we go we take that as the confirmatory evidence that there is not enough. Whereas when we start to question that, I just say to people.

Julie Ann: What about the sun, is the sun like, you know, basically bathing our planet in almost virtually unlimited energy every day? And are we working out how to unlock that energy right now? You know, solar cell technology is like doubling in efficiency. You know, the way that the computer processing power doubled in efficiency. You know, look at the strides that we've made from, like, the computers we had in the 1970s to what we carry around in the palm of our hand. Now, this used this. In fact, it didn't exist. The computing power in this phone did not exist in the 70s, but if it did, it would have taken up an entire room, you know, so when we apply that kind of technological innovation to solar cell technology and go, how much energy are we about to unlock virtually limitless amounts of energy and what is that going to mean? Do we really live in a system that's not abundant? When you look at a rainforest, do you think, wow, this place is not very abundant, you know, because plants, plants have already figured this out. They are solar cells. They already have figured out how to harness and use the energy from the sun, which is virtually limitless to them.

Julie Ann: And if we were to just leave the plants to their own devices, they would grow over our cities completely, you know, within a matter of years. Right. So is it true that we live in a system that is not inherently naturally abundant? What I just did was I just cracked the back of your belief in scarcity, right? And that's all I have to do. I might not have convinced you completely, but the second step is just about crack the back of it. So there's a little bit of doubt, there's a little bit of doubt about the absolute nature of the truth of that belief. And then you can move on to the third step, which is to replace the belief with one that will support your conscious goal. So if you're you know, in the case of helping your child, if the belief that will support your goal of helping your child is I've got this.

Julie Ann: I can do this, I'm smart, I'm capable, you know, I can learn, I can ask for help, I can find the information I need. I don't have to wait for other people to to do this for me. If that's the belief that is going to help you in this situation, then I have to do is just install it. And a very simple way to install a belief is once you have identified that, what is a good belief to have and maybe I've got this, the simpler the better with the subconscious. I've got this. I'm capable. I can figure this out, write those down on a piece of paper and put them beside your bed on the bedside table. And when you're going to sleep at night, when you're drowsy, you pick up that that piece of paper and read that to yourself. And read it out loud a few times and the drowsier the better, because when you're drowsy, the veil's kind of part and you have a more direct access to the subconscious. So then go to sleep.

Mary: You should read, I can do this. Yeah. I've got I'm positive this hour. Yeah. OK.

Julie Ann: And then in the morning, as soon as you wake up, when you're still groggy, pick it up, read it again. So you finish your day that way you start your day that way. And if you do that, you'll be able to install that belief relatively quickly and changes, amazing changes will start to happen. Because really what your subconscious belief system does for you is it's using a system in your brain called the reticular activating system, which is the system that sorts information for you. Right. Sorts it according to what you think is relevant, relevant, important. And when you install helpful beliefs and supportive beliefs, you're basically telling your brain to sort information on that basis.

Julie Ann: So if you believe I got this, then your brain will start sorting information that that allows you to get it right, that allows you to, you know, take control of the situation and find the answers that you need and all that sort of stuff. And your brain is sorting twenty-four, seven. You know, that subconscious processor is way more powerful than your conscious mind processor. So, you know, the conscious mind if you compare it to a computer, maybe that's like a 50-bit processor, whereas your subconscious is like a five hundred gigabit processor. Right? So when you shut something down to that subconscious level to sort, it's like you're not conscious of it happening, but it is happening. And then things sort of make their way back up to the conscious level once they have been sorted to meet that criteria. And then you can use your conscious mind to, you know, develop that information, use that information and pursue that.

Mary: Do you think some people have like an abundance mindset in some areas and a scarcity mindset in other areas where people just OK? Yeah, OK. So, I mean, you may have to look at different areas in terms of these three steps, right?

Julie Ann: One hundred percent. So you're basically looking at wherever you feel and you're limited. And the key indicator for you having a limiting belief in an area is that you're feeling frustrated. So you're trying this and trying that and trying the other thing. And you just keep hitting a wall and you're not making progress. That's often an indicator that you have a belief that is in contradiction to your conscious goal. And if you can address that belief and bring the belief in alignment with the conscious goal, then you can make much more rapid progress when you're talking.

Mary: I'm thinking of a couple of things. I'm thinking of resiliency, like getting through a struggle and then next different struggle. You kind of already went through it. I'm thinking of, like, optimism, just, you know, looking at the glass half full. And I'm even thinking of the book by Victor Frankl, Man's Search for meaning. Like, you can take away everything. And as long as you're like, I'm going to be as positive as possible and try to have a good day until I die or until I get out of the concentration camp in the Victor Frankl story due to all of those things tie in in different capacities to your work with abundance mindset.

Julie Ann: Yeah, absolutely. I think abundance and resilience go hand in hand because when you have limiting belief programs that are that are telling you that you're not up to it, that are telling you that you're going to get overwhelmed or that there's no way out of this, it's really hard to be resilient in the face of that kind of belief system.

Mary: You know, yeah, so also I was thinking, you know, in Lucas's situation, I feel like there's different phases because now he's twenty four and has moderate severe autism and intellectual disability and he needs twenty four seven supervision. You can't leave him at home alone for a grocery trip. Even so, that's but over the years and you still, you know, he's had points especially. It's been years, they say, when he was 14 to 18, where he had some aggression towards others and he was over two hundred pounds and he had self-injurious behavior and, you know, like then there are families listening that have kids with active aggression and self-injurious and they're big. And, you know, there aren't like great services that are just going to come in and save the day.

Mary: And it is you know, I tended to worry a lot about like if he became aggressive, like if this starts happening five times a week, like he's going to hurt somebody. He's not going to be able to go to X, Y, Z placement anymore. He's not going to be able to go. And you tend to get into this worry framework and or a common fear among parents of kids with autism is like what will happen if I die, when I die, if my child survives me? And it's like I don't have that degree of worry as much, just like it's going to work out. Is it going to be A plus plus the best, you know? No, but, you know, I can only do so much and worrying isn't going to help.

Julie Ann: Well, I think you've hit the nail on the head there because I think everybody has their circumstances that they're dealing with. Everyone's situation is kind of unique and abundance is not in my mind. The abundance mindset is not about saying, you know, all of your problems are going to go away. It's not that at all. It's about a belief system in yourself and it's about a belief system in your ability to attract into your life things that will help you. Information is one. But people also and the belief that you can develop a discernment by tapping into your own inherent intelligence.

Julie Ann: And I don't just mean mind intelligence, I mean heart intelligence and gut intelligence, the entire intelligence of your system when you have a scarcity mindset and you don't inherently believe that you're good enough, you don't inherently believe in yourself, it's really hard to tap into that those systems of knowledge and knowing. And when you do and you can tap into all of that, then you have a you have an apparatus, an incredibly powerful apparatus, I believe more powerful than most people realize.

Julie Ann: Once you clear away all the limiting belief stuff, the apparatus that you have for discerning what is right for you, what is right for your child, what is a fruitful way forward is just incredibly enhanced. And that that is the apparatus that we all need to tap into in order to face the challenges, the unique challenges that we each face in our lives.

Mary: So just another example before we start wrapping up. I know we have a good percentage of professionals listening and parents who also have jobs. So let's talk just briefly about having an abundance mindset. When you are in a job that is doesn't seem to be satisfying, is frustrating and like, how would you work through that? So you would you would use your three steps, like recognition. Can you kind of walk us through the three steps for, like, a professional that's not really happy.

Julie Ann: Well, here, I want to make one important point. One important distinction about mindset work is that, you know, it's very common for people who are finding themselves in a frustrating situation. So whatever that frustrating situation is, whether they don't like their job, whether they're feeling overwhelmed in their life, whether they feel like their partner is not supportive, whatever it is, it's very natural for us to say and ask, what is it that I should do differently in order to change the situation?

Julie Ann: And what I would say is that's the wrong question. It's the wrong first question. The first question is not what should I do differently? It's what should I believe differently? And once you've addressed what you should believe differently, what limiting beliefs are holding you back and change those beliefs and then the what to do differently can be quite surprising. There's still going to be a lot to do differently. OK, like there's I'm not saying that you can just clear all your limiting beliefs and then sit in a meditative pose and everything will be sorted out by itself. You know, there's always going to be the actions and the effort, but it will become a lot clearer to you. What is the most effective action?

Julie Ann: What is the best action once you have cleared your limiting belief patterns, if you choose actions before you've cleared your limiting belief patterns, then you're quite likely to choose sabotaging actions that don't end up achieving the goal that you desire. So, yeah, that's why the first step is change your belief system. The next step is ask, what should I do now?

Mary: OK, because, I mean, we do have many people in our lives who are unhappy with their situation, and I know people, friends of mine, who in the past, they both jumped around to relationship to relationship because they just couldn't get happy. And what you're saying is like maybe it's like a subconscious pattern or belief that is kind of, you know, you're sabotaging your half of the relationship and you kind of always looking for the grass is greener.

Julie Ann: And yeah, I mean, when people are not willing to do believe change, they will do a different kind of change. Usually, sometimes it's geographical. Sometimes I'll change my job. I'll change my relationship. I'll change where I live. I'll change everything I could possibly change except myself and what I believe or as you know, I'm saying actually there's only one common denominator in all of your frustrations, right? Whatever they be in whatever area of your life, you're the common denominator. And if you take the time to reprogram your limiting beliefs, your life will get better. I'm not saying it will magically make all of your issues disappear. Right. It's not necessarily going to do that, but it's going to make you much more able to step up and address them in a positive, empowered and abundant way.

Mary: Well, I think you provided some really great ideas to get us started. I know you have an Abundance Code book as well as a docu series. Is it a documentary or what? What is that?

Julie Ann: There's a three-part series available on gaia.com, also called The Abundance Code.

Mary: OK, and can we find out information at the abundance code book dot com? Does that have everything or just a book?

Julie Ann: That's the site for the book. So for people who are interested in finding out more about this limiting belief system around money, which I call the seven money myths, they can sign up for a free video series about the seven money myths. There's nothing for sale on that site apart from a link to go to Amazon and buy the book or whatever retailer you would like to buy the book from. And the video series is completely free. So that's a great place. If people want to know more about the book and if you're a subscriber to gaia.com, then you can watch the three partdocu series that's available at gaia.com.

Mary: How do you spell that?

Julie Ann: G-A-I-A.

Mary: OK, dot com. OK, to watch the three-partdocu series, great. So I always like to end the same way part of my podcast goals. And we kind of talked about this throughout, but part of my goals are for parents and professionals to be less stressed and lead happier lives. So we covered a lot. But do you have any specific self-care tips or things that you do to relieve your stress or maybe a daily exercise or something that you do, too, that parents or professionals might be able to try?

Julie Ann: I don't have anything that is like, extraordinary, right. I mean, it's the basics. And what's I find interesting about this is this when it comes to self-care, it kind of doesn't matter what it is that works for you. What matters is that you do it, you know, and if you're not giving yourself permission to do it, that's something to address.

Julie Ann: So for me, I meditate every day. I try to go for a walk every day and I take a lot of baths. And that's just they're so simple things. But if I don't do them, then I do notice the wheels start to fall off the trolley. That's an Australian saying the wheels fall off the trolley. You know, it's we get it.

Mary: It's kind of. Yeah, I've heard that that phrase before. Well, I really appreciate you taking the time out to share your wisdom with our audience. And I think they're going to love this episode is different than a lot of my other episodes. And I'm going to be I already have the book. I'm going to check out the docu series and follow your work more now that I know more about you. And I really appreciate you supporting my book, reading the draft, and I'm excited for that to come out on 3/30.

Mary: And yeah. So I think as we approach the New Year, if we can all get into more of an abundance mindset and the less of a scarcity mindset and just kind of have that ever since you planted the seed back a few years ago when I heard you present, it is when I see myself or others getting into a scarcity mindset. It's at least recognition or awareness. I think that's the first step.

Julie Ann: That's your first step.

Mary: Yeah. Awesome. All right. Thank you. Thank you. We're enjoying the Hay house family. You're a Hay House author. And it's really exciting. They've been really great to work with. And I'm super excited to help the millions of people that need this information. So thank you so much. Have a great day in New Zealand.