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My Top 3 Pieces of Autism Advice for Parents and Professionals Helping Toddlers through Teens

Hi, I’m Dr. Mary Barbera, and I’m so excited to welcome you to this very special 300th episode of my podcast. Over the years, my team and I have answered thousands of autism-related questions from parents and professionals alike.

autism advice. how to help a child with autism.
My top 3 pieces of autism advice are from my learning over the last few decades as a parent and professional in the autism field.

 

After all this time, I’ve come to realize that the core advice I offer boils down to three crucial steps. In this episode, I’ll be sharing those top three pieces of autism advice, which I believe can help anyone working with a child with autism or showing signs of autism.

So, whether this is your first time here or you’ve listened to many of my last 300 episodes, I hope you get some takeaways from my top 3 pieces of autism advice. 

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You’ll Learn

  • The importance of assessment
  • Tips for parenting a child with autism
  • How to start helping a child with autism 
  • How I anwser the questions “how do I stop a child from…” 
  • Reducing problem behaviors and increasing positive behaviors
  • How parents and professionals can work together 
  • How to use reinforcement to promote happiness

Parenting a Child with Autism

Maybe you are new to this autism journey or maybe you are like me and have been parenting a child with autism for many years. My top 3 pieces of autism advice were designed for not just professionals but you too! As an autism parent, I know the importance of parent involvement in their child’s development and how important it is for autism parents mental health to learn how to support their children. 

 

Parenting a child with autism involves unique challenges, but there are many effective strategies to help both your child and yourself. Focus on the positive and reward good behavior with specific praise, making sure to be consistent with routines, as children with autism thrive on structure. Include playtime and pairing to encourage connection, and expose your child to everyday activities to help them adapt to their surroundings. Support is crucial, so build a network of family, friends, and professionals who understand your child’s needs, and consider respite care to give yourself breaks. Lastly, take care of yourself by managing stress, getting enough sleep, exercising, and maintaining balance in your life to stay resilient and healthy. Now let’s get into my top 3 pieces of advice to help you along your journey whether you are a parent or professional. 

How To Help a Child with Autism- Start With Assessment

autism advice. parenting a child with autism.
Autism assessments are so important to get started helping a child to be successful!

My first piece of autism advice to help a child with autism is to always start with a comprehensive assessment. This is crucial for understanding the full picture of a child’s strengths and challenges, rather than focusing on isolated behaviors or issues. By taking a broader view, we can ensure that we address the right areas in the right order to help the child progress effectively. Now, you might be saying I have so many assessments and how can these help me? 

You are right, many assessments go too far into the weeds and don’t give us quick action items…here are my assessment tips. 

  • Start with an assessment: This gives a 30,000-foot view of the child’s development.
  • Use the BECA tool: My free digital assessment tool evaluates key areas like language, self-care, and problem behaviors. It only takes 10 minutes and will give you a quick place to begin! 
  • Assess the whole child: Don’t just focus on one issue, like hitting or potty training; look at the bigger picture. Often when a problem is happening, there are missing skills. 
  • Plan from the assessment: Use the results to create a targeted plan that addresses the child’s specific needs. Assessments are no good and can’t help if we don’t create actionable goals from the assessment. 
  • Collaborate with professionals: Professionals can help interpret the results and guide the next steps if you are feeling stuck. Are you a parent without a team of professionals? Get more help here.
  • As professionals, we want to ensure we are involving parents in the assessment process, and explaining the results. 

By beginning with a full assessment, you lay the foundation for real progress in helping children with autism.

Solving Problem Behaviors

One of the top questions I get asked is “how can I stop a child from…”hitting,biting, whining, running away”….the list goes on but it brings me to my second piece of autism advice. 

 

Focus on preventing problem behaviors by creating positive environments. Instead of reacting to negative behaviors like hitting or flopping on the ground, it’s far more effective to focus on preventing these behaviors from occurring in the first place. I know this sounds frustrating, but in order to reduce a behavior, we have to teach skills to replace that behavior that the child can select in the same situations they are selecting negative behaviors. 

 

By emphasizing positive reinforcement and setting the stage for success, you can help the child feel more comfortable and supported.

  • Use positive reinforcement: Reward good behaviors consistently to encourage them.
  • Prevent problems before they occur: Structure the environment to minimize triggers that lead to negative behaviors. When a behavior happens, take note and start getting creative about what you can teach or how you can support the child to make the behavior not effective. 
  • Focus on increasing positive behaviors: Spend 95% of your time on teaching new skills and pro-social behaviors. Not sure how? Learn more here.
  • Use 8 positives for every negative: Create a highly encouraging environment where positive actions are frequently recognized. This means if you say “stop jumping”, you want to counteract this statement by using 8 positives “nice sitting”, “Jumping on the trampoline is fun!” , “You are trying hard!” are just some examples. 
  • Be proactive: Plan for challenging situations and adjust your approach to maintain a calm and supportive setting. This means, if you know leaving the playground will be a problem, bring something that will make them happy to leave like a favorite snack, bubbles or enjoyable songs playing in the car! 

By concentrating on prevention and positive reinforcement, you can reduce problem behaviors and help children with autism succeed in daily life.

Autism Professionals and Parents Collaborating Together

The third piece of autism advice is that professionals and parents MUST work together to achieve a child’s goals. 

 

I often see professionals trying to assess, and program without getting parent input on what is important to their family, and then I see parents leaving it up to the professionals thinking they don’t need to provide collaboration and support outside of therapy. 

 

My advice is to recognize that helping a child with autism requires teamwork. No one can do it alone, and building a supportive team around the child is crucial. This includes parents, professionals, teachers, and other caregivers all working together toward the same goals. Collaboration ensures consistency and helps the child thrive across different environments.

  • Involve everyone: Make sure your spouse, family members, and caregivers are all on the same page. You can do this by having monthly meetings to ensure everyone knows the current goals and the best way to support the child. 
  • Collaborate with professionals: Work closely with teachers, therapists, and other specialists to align strategies. As professionals, drop the professional jargon and learn what other specialties may be doing to benefit your client and their family so that you can become more involved. 
  • Communicate regularly: Keep open lines of communication to ensure everyone is using consistent methods. Written notes, email chains or monthly meetings can be helpful. 
  • Provide training: If needed, help caregivers and teachers understand specific strategies that work best for your child. Offer training in the home and community so that goals happening at school or therapy can carry over. 
  • Be flexible and adapt: Each member of the team should be willing to adjust their approach as the child’s needs evolve.

By fostering a collaborative environment, you can ensure your child receives the most consistent and effective support possible.

My Autism Advice Summarized

In this episode, I shared my top three pieces of advice for helping children with autism. First, always start with a comprehensive assessment to get a clear picture of the child’s strengths and needs. Second, focus on preventing problem behaviors by creating positive environments and using reinforcement, rather than reacting after the fact. Finally, remember that it takes a team—parents, professionals, and caregivers all need to work together to help the child reach their full potential. By following these steps, I truly believe you can make significant progress and help your child thrive. Thank you for being here for 300 episodes, and I hope this advice helps guide you on your journey.

Top Autism Advice Questions Answered

1. What are the top three pieces of advice for parents and professionals dealing with autism?

The top three pieces of advice shared in this episode are:

  1. Start with a comprehensive assessment of the child, using tools like the Barbera Early Childhood Assessment™ (BECA).
  2. Focus on prevention of problem behaviors through pairing and reinforcement techniques.
  3. Work collaboratively with a team that includes family members, professionals, and caregivers to ensure consistent support for the child.

2. Why is assessment the first step in addressing autism-related issues?

Assessment is critical because it provides a 30,000-foot view of the child’s strengths and areas of need. Rather than focusing on individual behaviors, a comprehensive assessment, like the BECA, helps parents and professionals develop a tailored intervention plan that addresses the whole child.

3. How can I prevent problem behaviors in my autistic child?

Preventing problem behaviors involves focusing on reinforcement, pairing, and creating a positive environment. This can include using tools like ABC data and behavior templates to identify patterns and implement strategies that emphasize positive behavior and reduce negative actions. I have a full module and mini courses on reducing meltdowns and tantrums in my online community. Get a free one hour workshop now! 

4. Why is teamwork important when managing autism interventions?

Collaboration between parents, professionals, and caregivers ensures that everyone is working towards common goals and implementing consistent strategies. This can significantly improve the child’s progress, especially when parents take an active role in learning and applying interventions at home.

5. How can I get started with the Barbera Early Childhood Assessment™(BECA)?

The BECA is a digital assessment tool designed to evaluate key areas like self-care, language, and problem behaviors. It’s available for free at the time of this podcast recording and can be accessed at marybarbera.com/assessment. This 10-minute assessment provides parents and professionals with a snapshot of the child’s current abilities, helping to guide future interventions.

Resources

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