What is Stimming?

Dr. Mary Barbera

What is stimming? Stimming (self-stimulatory behavior) is not just part of autism—everyone engages in stimming behaviors like scrolling a phone, doodling, or repeating enjoyable activities because they are automatically reinforcing.
Many parents wonder, “Is stimming bad in autism?” The answer is: not always. Stimming becomes a concern when it is dangerous, excessive, or interferes with learning, communication, and daily life.
Children with autism often stim more when communication, play, and engagement skills are limited. Instead of focusing only on how to stop stimming, it’s more effective to understand why it’s happening and what skills are missing.
If you’re wondering how to reduce stimming in autism, the goal is not to eliminate it—but to build communication, play, and learning skills, which often leads to a natural decrease in excessive stimming over time. Learn how at www.marybarbera.com/workshops

If your child is flapping their hands, making repetitive sounds, or seems “in their own world,” you might be wondering:

What is stimming?
Is stimming part of autism?
Should I stop my child from stimming?

You’re not alone—and the answers online can feel confusing and even conflicting.

Some sources say:
👉 “Stimming is completely fine—never stop it.”

Others suggest:
👉 “You need to reduce stimming behaviors.”

The truth is more nuanced.

In this guide, I’ll explain what stimming really is, when it’s okay, when it may become a problem, and most importantly…

What you can do to help your child build real-life skills like communication, play, and independence.

What is Stimming?

Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behavior) refers to repetitive actions that are automatically reinforcing—meaning the behavior itself feels good or regulating.

Examples of stimming include:

Hand flapping
Rocking
Spinning objects
Repeating sounds or words (vocal stimming)
Scripting from shows or movies

👉 Important: All humans stim.

Even adults engage in self-stimulatory behaviors like:

Scrolling social media
Doodling
Playing music
Repeating enjoyable activities

The difference is that typically developing individuals have a wider range of functional and socially appropriate leisure skills.

So stimming, basically, is what you do when nobody’s engaging you or reinforcing you, or there’s not much going on. If we were sitting in a lecture and it was in another language and we didn’t understand what they were saying, we might start doodling or get our phones out and start flipping through Facebook. These are activities to keep our brains active when the surroundings aren’t that fun. When waiting in line at the grocery store, we don’t just stand there waiting. We think about our next plan or we scroll through Facebook and those sorts of things.

We can teach children with autism more leisure skills to help support them and keep them regulated in many settings!

Is Stimming a Part of Autism?

Stimming is common in children with autism—but it is not exclusive to autism.

In many cases, stimming increases when a child:

Is under-engaged
Lacks functional play skills
Has limited communication abilities
Is not receiving the right level of reinforcement

In other words:
Stimming is often a sign that a child needs more meaningful engagement, or may be struggling to regulate.

When Is Stimming a Problem?

Not all stimming needs to be addressed. When kids are trying to regulate or they stim to feel good and pass the time when caregivers are busy and can’t engage them, it’s ok to stim!

However, intervention may be needed when stimming is:

Dangerous

Head banging
Self-injury
Behaviors causing physical harm

Excessive

Occurs for long periods (hours per day)
Interferes with learning or engagement

Limiting

Prevents participation in school, family outings, or community settings
Replaces opportunities to develop communication or play skills

One example of when stimming may be dangerous is a boy I used to work with.

He had a wound on his head that I took a picture of when we first started because I knew that first and foremost, we needed to get rid of this wound. And when I asked the babysitter and the child’s mother how often did the banging happen and where and when the babysitter said that it happened about 3 hours out of the 9 she was there. It happened on a high back high chair, it happened in a Pack ‘n’ Play when he was supposed to take a nap. He was going down for two naps and banging before he fell asleep and when he woke up. He was banging again while he was sitting on the sofa watching TV.

So we got rid of the high back high chair and told the parents to go down to one nap a day and to get him as soon as he started banging.

Stimulating Behaviors and Repetitive Movements

Stim behaviors like banging can even be even more severe and cause more than an open wound. So stimming can be dangerous. But it also can just be repetitive, like rocking, vocal stimming, hand flapping, and making noises.

Some people think stimming is just a part of autism, but I don’t agree. I think stimming happens when the child is not engaged in meaningful activities with high levels of reinforcement.

And if a child is vocal stimming loudly, it can prevent the family from being able to go to church, a restaurant, or on a plane easily. And as kids get older, they can also develop scripting behaviors like scripting from movies repetitively. Which can affect where they can work, where they can go, and how much inclusion they have. So my goal is to help each child reach their fullest potential and be as engaged as possible.

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

Want to start making a difference for your child or clients?

The Goal Is NOT to Eliminate Stimming

One of the biggest misconceptions is that the goal is to “stop stimming.”

That’s not the goal.

The real goal is to help children:

Become more engaged
Learn functional skills
Develop appropriate leisure activities
Stay safe

Instead of going from:
No engagement → repetitive or harmful stimming

We want to move toward:

Functional play
Communication
Learning and independence

Why Stimming Happens: The 3 Buttons

On another blog, I discuss Dr. Carbone’s 3 buttons. Whether you are at church, the table, or taking a bath, your child is pushing one or more of three buttons. The middle button is what we want the child to be pushing. And that means that the demands are good and also reinforcement is at the right level.

If the child is not pushing that button, they could be pushing the escape button, which means they’re trying to get away from you. They’re whining, crying, swiping materials, or throwing things. Or they could be pushing the automatic reinforcement button. This is stimming, scripting, rocking, moaning, vocal stimming. Basically, it’s their verbal doodling. They’re telling you that the demands are not right and the reinforcement is not right.

What Should You Do About Stimming?

Instead of asking:

❌ “How do I stop this behavior?”

Start asking:

✅ “What skills does my child need?”

Focus on building:

✔️ Communication skills

Help your child request, label, and interact

✔️ Play skills

Move from repetitive actions → functional play

✔️ Learning skills

Increase attention, imitation, and participation

✔️ Safer alternatives

Replace dangerous stimming with appropriate activities

What is Stimming Conclusion

Stimming can feel confusing—especially when you’re hearing mixed messages about whether it’s something you should ignore or try to stop.

But the most important takeaway is this:

Stimming isn’t the real problem.

It’s often a signal.

A signal that your child may need more support with:

Communication
Play
Learning
Engagement

When you shift your focus from “How do I stop this?” to “What skills can I build?”—that’s when real progress begins.

Because when children become more engaged, more independent, and more able to communicate…

Many challenging behaviors, including excessive stimming, often decrease naturally.

Ready to Take the Next Step To Support Stimming?

If you want a clear, step-by-step plan to help your child:

Increase talking
Reduce tantrums and repetitive behaviors
Build play, learning, and independence

I invite you to join my free workshop where I walk you through exactly what to do next.

Join the free workshop here:
https://marybarbera.com/workshop

And if you have more questions about what is stimming, be sure to check out my free guide on 6 steps to reduce stimming here.

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

Want to start making a difference for your child or clients?

What is Stimming?

Dr. Mary Barbera

What is Stimming?

Is Stimming a Part of Autism?

When Is Stimming a Problem?

Dangerous

Excessive

Limiting

Stimulating Behaviors and Repetitive Movements

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

The Goal Is NOT to Eliminate Stimming

Why Stimming Happens: The 3 Buttons

What Should You Do About Stimming?

What is Stimming Conclusion

Ready to Take the Next Step To Support Stimming?

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

Learn to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums