Not Every Child is Immediately Ready for Autism Daycare
As a behavior analyst, nurse, autism mom, and the founder of the Turn Autism Around® approach, I know firsthand how overwhelming it can be to make decisions about daycare—especially if your child has autism or is showing early signs.
In this episode of the Turn Autism Around podcast, I sat down with our amazing community manager, Kelsey General, to answer some of the most common questions we get about daycare and autism.
Whether you’re a parent exploring inclusive daycare for your child with autism, a specialized autism daycare setting or a professional trying to support families, this blog post is for you.
Is My Child Ready for Autism Daycare?
Before we dive into specifics, let’s acknowledge an important reality: Daycare is often a necessity, not just a choice. Many families need two incomes, and others know their child could benefit from more structured activities and peer interaction. You are not alone if you’re feeling the pressure to find the right setting.
But here’s the truth: Not every child is immediately ready for daycare—and that’s absolutely okay. If daycare is a choice, the points below may be beneficial and if it is a requirement, the section on preparing a child with autism for daycare may help!
If your toddler isn’t yet talking, struggles to drink from an open cup, has difficulty sitting during group activities like circle time, or shows signs of aggression, elopement (running away), or other safety concerns, they may need more support before thriving in a typical daycare environment.
It doesn’t mean your child can’t go to daycare—it simply means they may need a little extra time, preparation, and individualized teaching first. They may also benefit from a one-to-one aid to be successful.
That’s exactly why I created the Barbera Early Childhood Assessment (BECA)—a simple, practical tool that parents and professionals can use to quickly assess three key developmental areas:
In just 10 minutes, you can get a clearer picture of where your child is right now—and what skills to build to move toward daycare readiness.
You can grab it at marybarbera.com/assessment.
Remember: readiness isn’t about perfection—it’s about setting your child up for success from the very start.
What Makes a Daycare Autism-Friendly?
Here are some green flags I look for:
Experience working with children on the spectrum
Willingness to collaborate with speech therapists, occupational therapists, or 1:1 aides
Positive reinforcement environment (listen for praise like “Great job sharing!” vs. scolding)
Clear communication with families
Kelsey added a great reminder: Read the discipline policy. If there’s a “zero-tolerance” clause for hitting or toy-taking with no mention of prevention or support—run.
Will Daycare Help My Child Develop Social Skills?
This is a common hope, and for some kids, it might! For other kids, they need more skills before daycare is a success.
Social growth doesn’t happen through osmosis—especially for kids with delays in imitation, language, or play skills.
One story I shared involved a child placed in a busy Friday-only daycare for “social time.” He ended up licking the wall, unsupervised. That’s not inclusion—it’s setting a child up to fail.
In contrast, when my son Lucas was in daycare with a trained ABA therapist, we brought in toys that promoted interaction and used a strategy called priming—practicing circle time and crafts at home first.
How Can I Prepare My Child for Daycare?
Preparation is everything. Preparing a child with autism for daycare is the most important step.
1. Assess Readiness
As we discussed previously, start by honestly evaluating your child’s current skills in language, self-care, and behavior. Tools like the Barbera Early Childhood Assessment (BECA) can help you quickly spot strengths and gaps that may impact daycare success.
2. Choose the Right Setting
Look for a daycare that is welcoming to children with differences, uses positive reinforcement, and is open to collaboration with therapists or support staff if needed. Not all programs are created equal—fit matters. Remember a ratio of 8 positives to every negative may be even more important than their formal autism training.
3. Build Key Skills at Home
Before daycare starts, practice important skills like:
Sitting for short periods
Requesting preferred items
Tolerating short separations from caregivers
Teaching these skills in a calm, 1:1 setting at home helps set a strong foundation. I can help you learn how to teach all of these skills here.
4. Use Visual Preparation
Take pictures or short videos of the daycare building, classroom, teacher, and playground. Create a simple visual story or video model that shows your child what to expect. Familiarity reduces anxiety.
5. Start Small and Celebrate Wins
If possible, schedule short visits before full days. Practice drop-offs, gradually increase time away, and celebrate every small success—like walking into the building or sitting for snack time.
With careful preparation and a step-by-step approach, you can help make your child’s transition to autism daycare smoother, more positive, and ultimately more successful.
What If My Child Cries at Drop-Off?
Separation anxiety is common—but it’s not a deal-breaker.
Tips to ease transitions:
Don’t sneak away. Be upfront with your child about leaving and returning.
Use highly preferred reinforcers (e.g., “After school, we’ll go for a walk or have a special snack.”)
Collaborate with teachers on drop-off routines that feel safe and predictable.
If your child is struggling even at home when you leave the room, that’s a sign to start small with separation practice.
How Can I Advocate for Needed Supports?
If your child has an IEP or diagnosis, you may be entitled to additional services or aides. But it’s not always straightforward, especially if you don’t have a child with a diagnosis.
My advice:
Put everything in writing—especially when concerns arise.
Document incidents and express concerns respectfully but clearly.
Be persistent, not confrontational.
Consider bringing in an advocate if you’re not getting results.
Kelsey, who’s based in Canada, reminded us that local mom groups can be great sources for finding support systems or funding options—like 1:1 support workers in inclusive settings.
Final Thoughts on Autism Daycares
Choosing the right daycare for a child with autism isn’t easy—but you’re not alone.
Whether you’re a parent navigating this journey or a professional supporting families, I encourage you to take action:
Start with the BECA tool at marybarbera.com/assessment
Dive deeper in my book Turn Autism Around®
Or join our supportive courses and membership communities tailored for parents and professionals alike.
- Follow the steps outlined in this blog to have autism daycare success
With the right strategies, we can help every child be as safe, as independent, and as happy as possible.
