Emotional Regulation for Kids with Autism: Insights and Tools from Suzanne Tucker at Generation Mindful

When you’re raising a child with autism or signs of autism, emotional outbursts, dysregulation, and meltdowns can feel overwhelming—for both your child and yourself. In this episode,I talk with Suzanne Tucker, mom of four, physical therapist, and founder of Generation Mindful, about how mindfulness and emotional regulation can be game changers for families navigating autism.

Whether you’re trying to teach emotional skills, respond to challenging behaviors, or simply survive stressful transitions, this conversation is packed with compassionate, science-backed strategies you can start using today

What Is Emotional Regulation? 🧠

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and influence one’s own emotions—either by intensifying, reducing, or maintaining them in ways that are socially appropriate and personally effective. This involves not only recognizing what you’re feeling, but also implementing strategies—such as deep breathing, cognitive reframing, or altering environment—to shift emotional states as needed. According to Psychology Today, emotional regulation may include “rethinking a challenging situation to reduce anger or anxiety, hiding visible signs of sadness or fear, or focusing on reasons to feel happy or calm” . In other words, it’s the foundation for emotional resilience and adaptive behavior—especially important when teaching children, including those with autism, how to cope with stress and sensory overwhelm.

In this episode, guest Suzanne Tucker, founder of Generation Mindful, shares science-backed strategies and practical tools for nurturing emotional regulation in both children and adults.

Understanding Emotional Dysregulation in Kids with Autism

Kids with autism or signs of autism often live in a reactive state due to sensory challenges, communication delays, and unpredictable environments. Dysregulation can look like:

Meltdowns or tantrums
Running away or elopement
Physical aggression or shutdowns
Inability to follow directions or transitions

Suzanne and Mary emphasize that these behaviors are often signs—not symptoms—of a nervous system struggling to cope, not a child trying to “be bad.”

How to Teach Emotional Regulation to Kids with Autism

Teaching emotional regulation to children with autism starts with meeting them where they are developmentally. For many children with limited language, traditional emotion labeling strategies (like flashcards or “happy/sad” matching games) aren’t effective or meaningful. Instead, focus on co-regulation first—helping the child feel safe and calm through your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and predictable routines. Use visual supports, simplified language, and concrete tools like calming corners or feelings charts to build awareness over time. Reinforce desired behaviors during calm moments, not during meltdowns. Incorporating play, movement, and sensory-friendly strategies can help embed emotional skills into everyday life. As Suzanne Tucker explains in the episode, emotional literacy doesn’t happen in a vacuum—it grows through consistent, compassionate interactions inside a connected relationship.

Why Mindfulness for Parents Matters

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Emotional regulation in children starts with emotionally regulated adults. Suzanne shares that even highly knowledgeable professionals and parents (including herself!) struggle when life becomes overwhelming.

Learning to:

Notice triggers
Breathe with intention (e.g., inhale 4 seconds, exhale 8 seconds)
Celebrate awareness instead of judging yourself

…can change everything.

The Problem with Teaching Emotions Too Soon

Teaching emotion labels to a child who is not yet verbal—or not developmentally ready—can lead to frustration. Instead of relying on flashcards, Suzanne suggests starting with nonverbal co-regulation through:

Body language
Predictable routines
Joyful play
Physical presence and safe touch (like baby massage)

Struggling to engage with your child? Learn how to with my online courses for families of children with autism.

What to Do When You’re Dysregulated Too

It’s okay to be triggered. The key is recognizing it and modeling repair:

“I feel overwhelmed right now. I’m going to take a few breaths.”
“That was a hard moment. Let’s take a break and come back.”

Your child learns emotional regulation by watching you navigate tough moments—not by being punished for their own.

What is a Time-In, and Why Is It Better Than a Time-Out?

Time-ins involve bringing your child closer during dysregulation, not isolating them. It’s not about ignoring the behavior—it’s about teaching skills over time.

Generation Mindful’s Time-In Tools (like calming corners and emotion bears) help make these moments playful and teachable, especially for children ages 2–8 functioning at a toddler level.

Final Thoughts on Emotional Regulation

No child (or adult) is perfectly regulated. But with the right tools and mindset, you can shift from reacting to responding—even in the hardest moments. Whether your child is newly diagnosed, on a waitlist, or simply struggling with transitions, the combination of ABA strategies and mindfulness practices can dramatically improve outcomes.

Learn More from Generation Mindful

Explore Suzanne’s calming tools, time-in kits, and parent community at genmindful.com

Suzanne Tucker on the Turn Autism Around Podcast

Suzanne Tucker is a parent educator, international speaker, and physical therapist with over 30 years of experience working with families. She’s the founder of Generation Mindful and creator of the Time-In ToolKit, now used in 120 countries to help caregivers stop punishing emotional dysregulation and start responding with connection and skill-building. With more than 1 million social media followers, Suzanne is on a mission to mainstream time-ins—to replace time-outs and spanking in homes and schools with tools that nurture emotional literacy from the earliest years.