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Toothbrushing Without Tantrums: A Better Way for Kids with Autism

  • Many children with autism resist toothbrushing due to a combination of sensory sensitivities, behavioral patterns, and skill deficits. The Turn Autism Around® approach addresses all three through assessment, strategic planning, and gradual desensitization.
  • Autism Toothbrushing success starts with breaking the task into small, tolerable steps—like touching the brush, bringing it to the lips, and mimicking brushing—before expecting full participation. This shaping method builds confidence and cooperation over time.
  • Using the right tools—such as soft-bristle or character-themed toothbrushes, mild toothpaste, and music or videos—can reduce resistance and make the experience more enjoyable for kids with autism or signs of autism.
  • Consistent routines, positive reinforcement, and data tracking help parents and professionals measure progress and adjust expectations. Avoiding force and focusing on tolerance leads to better long-term outcomes.
  • Mary Barbera’s book Turn Autism Around offers practical guidance on desensitizing children to hygiene routines like toothbrushing, haircuts, and doctor visits. You can read Chapter 13  at turnautismaround.com.

If you’re struggling with autism brushing teeth routines, you are not alone. Many parents face daily meltdowns, refusal, or total avoidance when it’s time to brush. For children with autism or signs of autism, toothbrushing can be an overwhelming experience. The good news? There is a step-by-step method that works—without force or fear.

In this blog, you’ll discover how to make autism brushing teeth routines more manageable using the Turn Autism Around® 4-step approach: assess, plan, teach, and evaluate. Whether your child screams at the sight of a toothbrush, gags on toothpaste, or runs away from the bathroom, this method can help.

Toothbrushing Without Tantrums: A Better Way for Kids with Autism

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High-Touch
Coaching

$5K+

By Application Only

Invest in support from Dr. Mary Barbera and her coaching team. By application only. Get individualized feedback so that your child or client (with or without a diagnosis of autism) can make the most progress in the shortest amount of time. Get all the details and fill out a confidential application today!

Apply Now

Online Course & Community

$997

$200 Off Now!

Start using a child-friendly and proven approach to increase talking, decrease problem behaviors and improve picky eating, sleeping, potty training and more for parents and professionals helping kids with autism and toddlers showing signs.

BUY NOW FOR $797

5 Days to More Talking DIY Mini-Course

$30 Off Now!

$97

$67

Are you ready to start turning language delays around, but not sure how? Then this 5 Day mini-course is a great way to get started. In just 5 days you’ll learn how to complete important assessments and create a plan to increase language, all while avoiding common mistakes often made and making the process fun and engaging for your child or clients.

Buy Now for $67

Why Is Autism Brushing Teeth So Challenging?

Toothbrushing can be especially difficult for children with autism due to sensory processing issues, communication delays, and difficulties with routine changes. The act of brushing may involve:

  • Discomfort with textures or tastes

  • Gagging or oral sensitivity

  • Lack of understanding of the steps involved

  • Negative past experiences or trauma

In most cases, brushing teeth struggles for children with autism are due to a combination of sensory, behavioral, and skill-based challenges. That’s why a structured, compassionate plan is critical. We don’t want to move forward with continuing to hold children down to get their teeth brushed. 

While some companies offer tips like this brushing teeth toolkit excerpt from Autism Speaks, which includes visual aids and social stories to help children understand and tolerate toothbrushing, I believe my 4 step approach can cut out unecessary steps and get to the root of the problem. 

Step 1: Assess the Toothbrushing Problems

Start by identifying exactly what’s going wrong. Is it the feel of the toothbrush? The taste of the toothpaste? The transition to the bathroom? Keep a short log noting:

  • When brushing is attempted

  • What tools are used

  • Your child’s response

From here, you can troubleshoot why your autistic child or client doesn’t like brushing their teeth. Hint: You may start with very short sessions or with just water instead of toothpaste.

You can also complete the free Barbera Early Childhood Assessment (BECA) to get a broader picture of your child’s developmental strengths and needs, including self-care routines like toothbrushing.

Step 2: Plan with the Right Tools and Timing

Choose a calm time of day when your child isn’t tired or overstimulated. Remember, you can practice brushing teeth multiple times a day if it is kept easy and fun!  Consider using:

  • Multiple toothbrushes to allow choice

  • Letting them brush themselves before you do it.

  • Soft-bristle or vibrating toothbrushes

  • Toothpaste with mild or preferred flavors—or no toothpaste at first

Build brushing into predictable routines after meals or before bed. And remember: don’t only practice during “real” brushing time. Short, no-pressure sessions during the day can help build tolerance gradually. Some kids may need to start just with tolerating the toothbrush in the room. During this teaching time, you may not get “real” toothbrushing done.

For more on planning and desensitization strategies, check out Chapter 13 of Turn Autism Around—focused on helping children with autism tolerate everyday routines like brushing, haircuts, and more

toothbrushing and autism. autism brushing teeth. toothbrush struggles

Step 3: Teach Brushing Teeth in Baby Steps

Instead of expecting full brushing on day one, break the routine into tiny, achievable steps:

  1. Touching the toothbrush

  2. Bringing it to the lips

  3. Holding it in the mouth

  4. Mimicking brushing motions

You can demonstrate with your own toothbrush or brush alongside your child or a sibling. Pair brushing with something fun—a favorite song, a video, or a silly sound the toothbrush makes. If they do a small step, end the tooth brushing session so that you end on a positive! 

Every small step forward counts. Praise progress generously, even if it’s just touching the toothbrush without protest.

Step 4: Evaluate and Adjust

Track progress using a calendar, checklist, or notes app. Look for signs like:

  • Willingness to approach the brush

  • Time spent tolerating brushing

  • Decreased resistance

If your child is progressing, gradually increase expectations. If resistance returns, step back and reduce demands. Avoid physical restraint or punishment, which can create trauma and set back progress. I know it is hard to accept that you may not have good brushing for a couple weeks, but it will be worth it in the long run. 

Focus on participation first, then build toward independence.

Autism Brushing Teeth Doesn’t Have to Be a Battle

With the right plan, brushing teeth routines with your autistic child can go from daily dread to daily success. You aren’t alone in feeling stressed about brushing your autistic childs teeth, but we can turn it around! Using assessment, a solid plan, gentle teaching, and easy evaluation, you can help your child master this important self-care skill in a positive, supportive way.

For additional support:

Let’s help your child build independence—starting with brushing their teeth.

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Autism and Brushing Teeth FAQ

Children with autism often experience heightened sensory sensitivities, making the taste, texture, sound, or pressure of toothbrushing overwhelming. They may also have difficulty understanding routines or lack the fine motor skills to brush independently. Behavioral resistance can also form from past negative experiences.
🔗 Learn more from Autism Speaks’ Brushing Teeth Toolkit

Start with systematic desensitization and shaping. Begin by simply showing the toothbrush, then build toward touching it, bringing it to the lips, and eventually brushing. Use reinforcement, modeling, and short, positive sessions.
🔗 Read about this step-by-step process in Chapter 13 of Turn Autism Around or within Dr. Mary Barbera’s Online Courses for Parents and Professionals

It depends, but generally starting teaching with a new toothbrush that isn’t associated with past fights can help.

Choose a soft-bristled brush, possibly with a character theme or electric vibration, depending on your child’s preferences. Some children prefer brushing without toothpaste at first. When introducing paste, use mild or fruity flavors and avoid strong mint if it’s a trigger.
🔗 Additional tips are available in the National Autistic Society’s hygiene guide

No. Forcing a child to brush—especially holding them down—can create trauma and worsen resistance. Instead, focus on tolerance and participation first. Praise small wins and build trust slowly.
🔗 Learn alternative strategies using the BECA Assessment to guide your plan

Practice in short, playful sessions throughout the day—not just morning and night.

Use non-stressful times to work on small steps like holding the toothbrush or mimicking brushing. Consistent, low-pressure practice leads to better progress.

Often, the more you practice, the faster the process will go. 

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

Want to start making a difference for your child or clients?

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