On the same day that we received an autism diagnosis for Lucas, we also received a recommendation for marriage counseling. Autism, ADD, ADHD, and many other diagnoses in a child can present a unique challenge for many couples. And if the marriage was already on shaky ground before the diagnosis, then everything else that comes afterward isn’t going to be any easier. This interview is all about autism and marriage challenges and how to strengthen a marriage even after a diagnosis.
Donna Tosky was trained as a scientist, and after her own divorce, she wanted to know what went wrong. As she studied the foundations of a strong marriage, she shared what she was learning with friends and they encouraged her to teach others. Today she helps couples learn how to communicate with each other.
Men and women react and adapt to stress differently. As women talk, their cortisol levels go down, and they feel good when they talk out their problems. That’s why they love calling up their sisters or their girlfriends and hashing a problem out until they feel good about it. But when men talk about a problem, their cortisol levels go up. If a wife goes to her husband to talk out a problem, he becomes more stressed as she talks and talks about her thoughts. That’s perhaps why he wants to avoid the conversation.
Donna says that couples wait about six years too long to get into therapy. They put off their relationship problems as they deal with other, more seemingly urgent issues. In the meantime, resentment builds as they focus too much on the negative parts of the marriage. Donna works with couples to help them get on the same page. As you strengthen your marriage, you’ll be able to better support your child with autism too.
Today’s Guest
“My ex-husband and I were both good people. Why did it end so badly?” When Donna Tosky’s 14-year marriage came to an end, she had a burning desire to help other couples avoid the frustration and heartache that she experienced.
Donna has devoted the past 15 years of her life to showing 100’s of couples how to repair, renew, and sustain a fulfilling connection QUICKLY. She does this by teaching a unique model of relating called the SPARK Communication Success System For Couples. She believes you are perfect, whole, and complete just as you are and in the face of “problems”, she moves couples forward rapidly with her painless and “man friendly” communication programs.
You’ll Learn
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