Doctors and Autism: 4 Steps to Prepare Your Child for Appointments Without Meltdowns

Doctor and ER visits can be overwhelming for children with autism or signs of autism—and stressful for parents and professionals alike. As both a registered nurse and a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, I’ve helped hundreds of families transform these tough experiences using a simple and effective strategy: systematic desensitization.

In this post, I’m answering the top 4 questions I get about doctor visits and ER preparation, plus sharing step-by-step desensitization strategies that really work—even for kids who have had traumatic medical experiences in the past. Doctors and autism don’t always go together well, but i’m here to make it easier!

Why Are Doctor and ER Visits So Difficult for Kids with Autism?

As an RN and autism mom, I’ve seen how common struggles like:

Sensitivity to lights, sounds, and touch
Delays in expressive and receptive language
Fear from past negative experiences

…can all contribute to meltdowns or shutdowns at the doctor’s office. My own son Lucas couldn’t tolerate nail clipping or ear checks—and many of my clients have had similar challenges.

Understanding the “why” behind the behavior is the first step toward making doctor visits more manageable.

For example; if we know there have been past negative experiences, we may set up times to go to the doctor where nothing happens to make it more positive.

How Can You Make Doctor Visits Easier?

The answer is systematic desensitization—and it doesn’t need to be complicated. This means:

Gradual exposure to medical tools or environments
Positive reinforcement after each small step

Here are practical ways to start:

Use pretend doctor play kits at the table, not just for free play
Watch videos of positive doctor visits on YouTube
Create a visual schedule for what to expect at appointments
Make a custom picture book of your child’s actual doctor’s office
Break down the visit into steps: walking in, sitting, getting weighed, etc.

You can even purchase a real otoscope or practice nail clipping using just the clipper (without cutting) to get started at home.

What If Your Child Has Already Had a Traumatic Experience?

You are not alone. Doctors and autism together often means doing what you need to, to get the procedure done. Many parents have had to hold down their child during exams or procedures. But these tactics can make the next visit harder.

Instead, try this:

Assess where the breakdown happens (arrival? ear checks? exam table?)
Create a task analysis or list of steps for the visit
Rebuild trust slowly by only practicing the easy steps at first
Use strong reinforcers after each step (snacks, videos, outdoor play)

One mom in our community turned things around in just a week after her daughter became fearful of the bathtub following an MRI. Her full story is in Chapter 13 of Turn Autism Around.

How to Prepare for Emergency Room Visits (When There’s No Time to Practice)

You can still prep in advance with these tips:

Create a 1-page summary sheet that includes:
- Your child’s name, birthday, diagnosis, language level
- Sensory triggers and calming strategies
- Preferred reinforcers (no food/drinks unless approved by ER staff)
Pack a go-bag with:
- Headphones, fidget toys, backup clothes
- iPad and charger, favorite books, visual supports
Know your local pediatric ERs and consider calling ahead
Use YouTube videos to explain things like blood draws or CT scans
Ask about numbing creams or nasal sedation to avoid restraint

Remember: the more you plan, the better you and your child will handle the stress of urgent visits.

Want to Learn More?

Chapter 13 of Turn Autism Around is all about doctor, dentist, and haircut desensitization. You can read chapter one and access all free book resources at:

TurnAutismAround.com

Whether you’re a parent or professional, the strategies work—and you can start using them today.