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PDA in Autism: Signs and Strategies That Work

  • Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a profile within autism characterized by an extreme, anxiety-driven avoidance of everyday demands—such as getting dressed, completing schoolwork, or joining family activities. Recognizing the difference between PDA in autism and simple defiance is critical for providing the right support.
  • Traditional behavioral strategies that work for many children with autism—like firm, consistent follow-through—can backfire with PDA in autism profiles. Instead, approaches that focus on reducing anxiety, offering choices, and preserving a child’s sense of autonomy are far more effective.
  • Parents and professionals can use the PDA Society’s PANDA framework—Pick battles, Anxiety management, Negotiate and collaborate, Disguise demands, Adapt flexibly—to create an environment where children with autism PDA feel safe enough to participate in learning and daily life.
  • BCBA Amelia Dalphonse shares real-life examples of how even rewards or praise can feel like demands for a child who has a PDA in autism profile, and how indirect language, humor, and strong relationships can help reduce resistance.
  • Dr. Mary Barbera offers online courses that can help parents connect and teach their kids at home. Get a free workshop here. 

 

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Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a profile that is gaining recognition—especially in the UK—within the autism community. While it’s not currently an official diagnosis in the United States, many professionals and parents are finding that understanding PDA in autism can dramatically improve how we support certain autistic children and adults.

In a recent interview with BCBA Amelia Dalphonse, she described PDA as “a persistent drive for autonomy,” emphasizing that it’s not about being defiant for the sake of it—it’s about avoiding demands because of underlying anxiety and a strong need for control. So come join us as we look at PDA in autism, the signs that your child or client might have this profile and how to support them effectively. 

What is PDA?

PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, a term first introduced by British psychologist Elizabeth Newson in the 1980s to describe a group of children on the autism spectrum who showed an extreme resistance to everyday demands. While some professionals still use this term, others prefer Persistent Drive for Autonomy, which shifts the focus from “pathology” to the underlying need for independence.

According to Amelia Dalphonse, BCBA:

“It’s an anxiety-driven kind of avoidance of everyday tasks—even really mundane ones. It’s not necessarily oppositional behavior. The core issues involve loss of control, intolerance for uncertainty, and that persistent drive for autonomy.”

The National Autistic Society (UK) defines PDA as a profile within the autism spectrum where individuals have an overwhelming need to avoid or resist demands. This isn’t limited to big or stressful tasks—small, everyday requests like “put your shoes on” or “come to the table” can trigger the same intense response. The PDA Society also emphasizes that avoidance is often socially strategic, meaning the person might use humor, distraction, or role-play to escape a demand.

While PDA is not currently recognized as a separate diagnosis in the DSM-5 (used in the U.S.) or ICD-10, it is widely acknowledged in the UK as a subtype of autism. Most professionals who recognize PDA agree that the avoidance behaviors are rooted in high anxiety and a need for control, not simply defiance.

PDA traits can appear at any age—from preschoolers who refuse to get dressed to adults who find it overwhelming to reply to emails—and they typically persist over time, even if the person learns coping strategies. Amelia explained that some individuals “may learn to manage their triggers and get through the day, but generally speaking, they still have that feeling that’s associated with avoidance behaviors.”

PDA in Autism
Children with autism and a PDA profile may really fight demands, but it isn't because of why you might think. It is because of anxiety.

Signs of PDA in Autism

While PDA can look different for each child, Amelia shared several patterns she’s seen in her work:

  • Avoidance of everyday demands – Even simple instructions, like “Put your shoes on,” can trigger distress.

  • Anxiety behind the behavior – Kids may mask anxiety, so it shows up as defiance until they can verbalize, “I’m feeling anxious.”

  • Creative social strategies to escape – For example, “I’m a cat, and cats don’t sit at the table,” or “My legs are broken” when they’re not.

  • Surface sociability – They may appear social and confident, but this can hide underlying difficulties.

  • High language comprehension – Many children Amelia sees have strong language and use it to negotiate or avoid demands, though there can still be hidden language gaps.

  • Generalized triggers – Even internal feelings like hunger or needing the bathroom can be perceived as demands.

She also noted that PDA traits can appear at any age and typically don’t disappear in adulthood, though people may learn to manage them.

Whether a child had a PDA in autism profile or “typical” autism, you can learn more about the signs and start helping them with proven, child friendly strategies. 

How PDA in Autism Differs from ODD

Amelia explained that many children with PDA are misdiagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).

“The understanding of PDA helps you approach these children differently. Kids with ODD tend to respond better to traditional behavioral strategies, but PDA kids often respond almost opposite to what you’d expect.”

This difference is critical because using rigid “follow-through no matter what” strategies can escalate anxiety and make behaviors worse.

Using escape extinction is something some behavior analysts are still using, but regardless of profile, I do not recommend it and see many problems with this practice. So, whether it is ODD or PDA learn about the risks of “follow through no matter what”

PDA in autism. Parent strategies for PDA Profile.

Strategies for Supporting a Child with PDA in Autism

Amelia stressed that the relationship is key:

“These are kids who rely heavily on your relationship and trust. You have to build that before anything else.”

She recommends following the PANDA framework from the PDA Society:

  • Pick battles – Focus on what’s essential.

  • Anxiety management – Keep anxiety levels as low as possible.

  • Negotiate and collaborate – Work together on solutions.

  • Disguise demands – Use indirect, playful, or “wonder if” language.

  • Adapt flexibly – Change your approach when needed.

Amelia shared that early in her career, she struggled with a PDA client because both she and the child were stubborn—simple demands turned into power struggles. Over time, she learned to avoid direct confrontation, give choices, and use humor to lower resistance.

 

One surprising insight from her work: even rewards can feel like demands. She described a time she handed a child a token for going down a slide, and he had a huge outburst because the reward implied an expectation to continue.

Language and Emotional Skills Matter Too for PDA

Amelia and I also discussed how language deficits can be hidden in kids who seem conversational. For example, a child may rattle off animals and clothing items but struggle with abstract or “why/how” questions, which can contribute to frustration and avoidance.

Additionally, emotional regulation is often a challenge.

“They may not have the skills to identify their emotions or handle them when they escalate,” Amelia explained.

This is why it is important to do a full language assessment and teach skills that may be missing. 

Advice for Parents on PDA Profiles

If you’re a parent and some of these descriptions sound familiar—your child resists everyday tasks, melts down over small requests, or seems unusually sensitive to being told what to do—your child may have a PDA profile within autism.

First, it’s important to know: you’re not alone, and there are compassionate, effective ways to help.

Behavior Analyst Amelia Dalphonse encourages parents to look beyond traditional strategies and consider whether anxiety and autonomy might be driving their child’s resistance.

“Whether or not they would qualify for a PDA profile—if they benefit from PDA-friendly strategies, use them,” she says. “If your child responds strongly to demands, soften them. Create a situation where your child feels safe.”

Here are some steps parents can take:

  • Watch for anxiety as the root of behaviors, not just defiance. A meltdown may be your child’s way of saying, “This feels too hard,” or “I don’t feel in control.”

  • Use indirect language like “I wonder if we could…” or “How should we do this today?” rather than direct commands.

  • Offer choices frequently to give your child back a sense of control. Even small choices like “Do you want the red or blue cup?” can reduce resistance.

  • Avoid power struggles by picking your battles. Ask yourself: Is this demand necessary right now?

  • Build trust through connection, not just compliance. If your child trusts you and feels heard, they’ll be more open to engaging with you.

📘 Start Here: Free Workshop 
If you’re looking for more step-by-step guidance, I offer a free 60-minute workshop:
👉 Turn Autism Around: 3 Proven Steps You Can Use Today

This workshop is especially helpful for parents of toddlers, preschoolers, or school-age children who are:

  • Struggling with delays in talking

  • Having daily meltdowns or avoiding tasks

  • Showing early signs of autism, with or without a diagnosis

My 4-step approach is rooted in compassionate, child-friendly strategies that align well with what works for children with a PDA profile.

Amelia Dalphonse on the Turn Autism Around Podcast

Amelia Dalphonse, MA, BCBA, is the co-founder of Master ABA. She empowers BCBAs® to deliver compassionate, client-centered care rooted in ethics and meaningful outcomes. Through Master ABA, she helps professionals reconnect with their purpose and lead lasting change in the field.

PDA in Autism Top 5 FAQ

PDA in autism, or Pathological Demand Avoidance, is a profile within the autism spectrum where an individual shows an extreme, anxiety-driven avoidance of everyday demands and expectations. This avoidance isn’t due to stubbornness—it’s rooted in a strong need for control and an intolerance of uncertainty. While not officially recognized in the DSM-5, PDA in autism is widely acknowledged in the UK as a subtype of autism.

Learn more at the PDA society

While ODD involves a pattern of deliberate defiance, PDA in autism is driven by anxiety and the need to maintain autonomy. Children with PDA may resist even fun or familiar activities if they perceive them as demands. Strategies that work for ODD—like strict, consistent follow-through—can often escalate anxiety in PDA.

Signs of PDA in autism can include:

  • Extreme resistance to everyday requests, even enjoyable ones

  • Using creative or humorous excuses to avoid demands (e.g., “I’m a cat, and cats don’t sit at the table”)

  • Appearing socially confident but struggling with underlying social understanding

  • High anxiety levels, often masked by defiance or distraction

  • Strong language skills used to negotiate or escape tasks

Many families and professionals find success using the PDA Society’s PANDA framework: Pick battles, Anxiety management, Negotiate and collaborate, Disguise demands, Adapt flexibly. Building trust, offering choices, using indirect language, and avoiding power struggles are key strategies.

Dr. Barbera’s online courses are also child friendly and evidence based to improve speech, stop power struggles, and improve things like potty training, sleep, picky eating and more. Get a free workshop

Yes. While PDA traits often persist into adulthood, children can learn coping strategies and emotional regulation skills with the right support. Amelia Dalphonse, BCBA, notes that when children feel safe, respected, and understood, they are more likely to engage with daily routines and learning activities.

Resources

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Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

Want to start making a difference for your child or clients?

I’m Ready to Learn!