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Potty Trained for Pee, But Not Poop? Read This

  • Many toddlers with autism or developmental delays are pee trained but not poop trained—often due to sensory sensitivities, fear, or constipation. Dr. Mary Barbera’s 4-step plan provides proven, step-by-step tricks to get your toddler or older child to poop on the toilet without pressure or punishment.
  • Not all potty training struggles are the same. When a toddler will pee but not poop, it’s essential to assess the full picture—including language, self-care, and behavior—to create a plan that works for your child’s unique needs. The free BECA tool helps parents and professionals do just that.
  • Effective potty training and poop success requires more than scheduled sits—it involves fixing constipation, reinforcing sitting behavior, and fading diaper use gradually. These practical steps make toilet training manageable, even for children with autism.
  • Dr. Mary Barbera’s free potty training guide and online resources provide practical support for families struggling with poop resistance. You can download her Potty Guide for Children with Autism or Signs of Autism.

It’s a common struggle: your toddler is fully pee trained, but refuses to poop in the toilet. They might ask for a diaper, hide to go poop, or only go at night. This issue—often seen in both neurotypical and autistic children—is one of the most challenging and frustrating parts of potty training.

If you’re searching for tricks to get your toddler to poop on the toilet, or wondering why your toddler will pee but not poop, this blog is for you. We’ll break down the four key steps to help your child of any age or diagnosis get fully toilet trained, share tips backed by science, and give you free resources to make the process smoother.

Potty Trained for Pee, But Not Poop? Read This

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High-Touch
Coaching

$5K+

By Application Only

Invest in support from Dr. Mary Barbera and her coaching team. By application only. Get individualized feedback so that your child or client (with or without a diagnosis of autism) can make the most progress in the shortest amount of time. Get all the details and fill out a confidential application today!

Apply Now

Online Course & Community

$997

$200 Off Now!

Start using a child-friendly and proven approach to increase talking, decrease problem behaviors and improve picky eating, sleeping, potty training and more for parents and professionals helping kids with autism and toddlers showing signs.

BUY NOW FOR $797

5 Days to More Talking DIY Mini-Course

$30 Off Now!

$97

$67

Are you ready to start turning language delays around, but not sure how? Then this 5 Day mini-course is a great way to get started. In just 5 days you’ll learn how to complete important assessments and create a plan to increase language, all while avoiding common mistakes often made and making the process fun and engaging for your child or clients.

Buy Now for $67

Why Is My Toddler Pee Trained but Not Poop Trained?

If your toddler will pee but not poop on the toilet, you’re not alone. This is especially common in children with autism, sensory processing differences, or anxiety about bathroom routines. Some kids will hold in their poop all day until they get their nighttime diaper. Others ask for a pull-up to poop—even if they’re wearing underwear during the day.

The reasons vary:

  • Fear of the toilet or flushing sound

  • Discomfort with sitting and relaxing

  • Habitual diaper use

  • Constipation that makes pooping painful

Understanding the “why” is the first step in solving the problem.

When I interviewed urologist Dr. Steve Hodges, he said that parents who thought their kids weren’t constipated, actually were and this was the leading reason for struggles with getting a child to poop on the toiler. 

potty training and poop. will pee not poop.
Giving positive reinforcement for sitting and trying to poop on a schedule is the first step to success.

Step 1 to Potty Training for Poop: Assess the Whole Child

Before jumping into toilet training solutions, it’s essential to assess your child’s overall development—not just their bathroom habits.

The Barbera Early Childhood Assessment (BECA) is a free one-page tool that helps you evaluate your child’s skills across:

You can access the BECA for free at marybarbera.com/assessment. 

During your assessment, ask:

  • When does my child usually poop?

  • Are they hiding, requesting a diaper, or only going at night?

  • Is constipation part of the problem?(hint: It probably is!) 

Knowing the answers to these questions can help us know if we need more reinforcement, medical intervention, or shaping to get them to poop closer to and eventually on the toilet.

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

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Step 2: Rule Out and Treat Constipation

One of the top tricks to get a toddler to poop on the toilet is treating hidden constipation—often the root cause behind stool withholding or painful pooping.

Pediatric urologist Dr. Steve Hodges reports that 9 out of 10 children with potty training issues are constipated, even when parents think they’re not. Signs include:

  • Large, adult-sized poops from a toddler

  • Going more than 1–2 days without a bowel movement

  • Complaining of pain or fear before pooping

Healthy poop should:

  • Come daily or every other day

  • Be soft—like mashed sweet potatoes

  • Be easy to pass without pain or hiding

Dr. Hodges recommends increasing fluids, fiber (through food or supplements), and in some cases using over-the-counter remedies like Miralax or a temporary enema protocol. 

Step 3: Use Scheduled Sits and Reinforcement for Poop Training

Getting a child to poop in the toilet often requires routine and positive reinforcement. Try scheduling sits during the two most common natural body cues:

  • Orthocolic reflex: the urge to poop shortly after waking up

  • Gastrocolic reflex: the urge that follows a big meal

During scheduled sits:

  • Make sure your child is supported (feet on a stool or floor)

  • Let them bring a book, tablet, or toy

  • Use a visual timer to reduce anxiety and add predictability

  • Praise all sitting—even if they don’t poop yet

For boys, it’s often best to have them sit to pee and poop until they’re fully trained, to build the sitting habit and keep them relaxed.

If your child is fighting to even go into the bathroom or sit on the toilet then you may need to pair the toilet with reinforcement using my newest potty guide. 

Want to Learn how to Increase Talking & Decrease Tantrums in Children with Autism or Toddlers Showing Signs?

Want to start making a difference for your child or clients?

I’m Ready to Learn!

Step 4: Tricks to Get Your Toddler to Poop on the Toilet (When They’ll Only Pee)

If your toddler will pee but not poop in the toilet, you’re not alone. This is one of the most frustrating parts of potty training—and it’s especially common in children with autism or developmental delays. Thankfully, there are proven tricks to get your toddler to poop on the toilet without pressure or tears.

Here’s how to approach this step strategically and gently:

🚽 Only Allow Diapers in the Bathroom

One of the most effective tricks to get your toddler to poop on the toilet is to set a firm but gentle boundary: diapers are only allowed in the bathroom.

If your child typically asks for a diaper to poop:

  • Calmly say, “Yes, you can have your diaper, but we’ll go to the bathroom to use it.”

  • Have them stand or sit in the bathroom while they go.

This builds the association between the bathroom and bowel movements—an essential step in potty training and poop success.

💺 Encourage Sitting on the Toilet (Even with a Diaper)

Once your child is used to pooping in the bathroom, encourage them to sit on the toilet with the diaper or pull-up on. Many toddlers won’t poop unless they’re standing or hiding, so sitting may feel scary or unfamiliar at first.

Make sitting time positive:

  • Use a step stool or squatty potty so their feet are supported

  • Give them a favorite toy, tablet, or book

  • Use a visual timer to ease anxiety and give a clear endpoint

The goal is to help your toddler feel relaxed and safe while sitting—key to helping them eventually poop in the toilet without a diaper.

✂️ Gradually Transition Away from Diapers

For toddlers who will pee but not poop in the toilet, transitioning away from diapers often takes patience and creativity. A gentle trick that works for many families is to cut a small hole in the diaper.

Here’s the step-by-step method:

  1. Let your child wear the diaper while sitting on the toilet.

  2. Cut a small hole in the diaper so the poop drops into the toilet.

  3. Gradually make the hole larger over time.

  4. Eventually switch to having them sit with no diaper at all.

This process respects your child’s comfort level while moving them closer to true independence with potty training and poop.

🧼 Get Your Toddler Involved in the Routine

Part of teaching your toddler to poop on the toilet is building independence in the whole process. Encourage them to:

  • Flush the toilet

  • Help clean up (with support)

  • Wash hands independently

This increases their confidence and reinforces that pooping in the toilet is a normal, manageable part of their day.

❌ Avoid Punishment or Pressure

If your child resists or becomes distressed, don’t push. Many toddlers—especially those with autism—may regress or avoid the bathroom altogether if they feel pressured.

Instead, revisit the routine later, stay consistent, and keep reinforcing small successes. Remember: Consistency and positive reinforcement are more effective than any form of punishment during this stage.

Top 5 FAQs: Potty Training and Poop

It’s common for toddlers—especially those with autism or sensory sensitivities—to resist pooping on the toilet. This may be due to fear of sitting, past constipation, discomfort with the toilet, or a strong habit of using a diaper. Many children can pee independently but associate poop with more privacy, control, or anxiety. Remember, regardless of age, you can poop train with the right tools. 

Start by allowing diapers only in the bathroom, then have your child sit on the toilet while wearing the diaper. Gradually cut a hole in the diaper to transition to pooping in the toilet. Use visual timers, favorite toys, or videos during sits to keep the experience positive and relaxed.

One of the most important things for potty training for poop is great positive reinforcement. 

Yes—chronic constipation is one of the biggest (and most overlooked) reasons toddlers avoid pooping on the toilet. According to pediatric urologist Dr. Steve Hodges, 9 out of 10 kids with poop resistance are constipated, even if they go regularly. Soft, daily stools are the goal for successful potty training and poop progress.

No—punishment often increases anxiety and makes potty training harder. Instead, use praise for small successes (like sitting or trying), gently redirect when needed, and maintain a calm, consistent routine. Positive reinforcement works far better than pressure or consequences.

If your child is older than 3 and still refuses to poop in the toilet—or if they have additional delays in speech, behavior, or self-care—it’s time to take a whole-child approach. Start by using the free BECA assessment at marybarbera.com/assessment and get targeted support through our course and community.

If the only struggle your child is having is refusal to poop on the toilet, head over to Dr. Steve Hodges parent groups for direction and support.